Confessions of a Lemon

Confession 4: I completely ripped my ex-husbands head off!

2011-04-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

Confession 4: I ripped my ex's head off...figuratively, in front of my kids oh and his new wife was there too, oops. He makes frequent and consistent poor choices and I lose my patience. Part of divorcing him ( yes I left) was due to being tired of raising a "5th" adult child instead of having a partner in raising the 4 actual children we have. He brought my children home over an hour and a half late without a phone call and had refused to answer my calls causing me to freak out! So when they got here I ripped him a new one and regretably I may have called his new wife ( who he met just 8 weeks ago, isn't that precious? ah true love) a stupid b*tch. I also mentioned to her at a very high volume that she just made the biggest mistake of her life and that I would know having lived it for 12 years. So yes, this is a new low for me but for those of you who have a ex like mine, (if you have never done this I commend you, you are a better woman than I am) you know you want to!

Confession 3: I sing...and it's bad

2011-04-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

ok so confession 3 is that I sing... in the car, in the shower, in my house and anywhere else I'm alone. I don't sing in front of anyone because I can't carry a tune in a bucket, unfortunately there is an exception to this rule. I sing in front of my kids and finally I have proof. I relaized that when my little girl who is 5 sings he voice cracks and dips on cue in an exact little replica of her croaking mother! Ack! I guess I won't have any future American Idols after all.

Confession 2: I'm a slob

2011-04-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

Confession 2: I'm a slob
The photo above is a great description of what I am not and never will be! There are dirty dishes in my sink, crumbs on the floor and a mountian of laundry in the garage where the washer sits ( most likely empty). I'm not lazy, just overwhelmed and the whole mommy thing isn't as easy as we were all led to believe. I'm hoping to clean the house at some point, preferably before my husband returns from his business trip. This will most likely occur the night before his return in a crash cleaning session.

Confession 1: I'm a lemon

2011-04-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

The dictionary defines LEMON as:

–noun

the yellowish, acid fruit of a subtropical citrus tree, Citrus limon.

the tree itself.

lemon yellow.

Informal . a person or thing that proves to be defective, imperfect, or unsatisfactory; dud

Well it turns out I closely resemble the latter. That's right, when it comes to parenting I'm a dud. I try hard to do the "right" things, but I'm just imperfect. Considering I lack a certain amount of natural sweetness I definetely fit the description. We'll just say that June Cleaver I am not.

So this mom is a lemon, but I've got sweet kids so maybe together we can make lemonade out of this mess.

Introductions: Welcome to my blog, I'm a mom and a little tart as described above, I have 4 children -2 boys and 2 girls, I have an amazing husband and a not-so-amazing ex-husband. I'm very close to my parents even though my mother is a total narcissist and I have 4 siblings and a sister-in-law who is a "princess" but not a peach. I have step-kids technically- we'll get to that in a later confession. I hope you enjoy the confessions of a not-so-perfect mom.

Confessions of a Lemon

Confession 4: I completely ripped my ex-husbands head off!

Confession 3: I sing...and it's bad

Confession 2: I'm a slob

Confession 1: I'm a lemon

lem·on